As you begin to discuss your wedding party, you may be wondering if you should have any kids in the wedding? Maybe one of you comes from a family with a lot of kids and one of you doesn’t. When Adam and I got married, I already had a daughter who was 20 months at the time. We knew she’d be included in the ceremony in some way. I also had four nephews and two nieces that I wanted to include. If you are considering having kids in your wedding, there are a couple of things to consider and tips that might help.

How can you keep them happy?

Wedding days are LONG! I always suggest that kids come right before the ceremony and get ready at the church or ceremony venue. Most wedding attire for kids is not super comfortable. Allowing kids to get dressed at the last minute will shorten the time they have to be in their clothes. I also suggest comfortable shoes. If they have new shoes, make sure they’ve broken them in ahead of time.

Keep non-sugary snacks handy. Goldfish crackers or pretzels can go along way in keeping a fussy child happy during the ceremony of picture time.

Bring them a new toy or activity book. Wedding days can have a lot of down time in between activities or pictures, so keeping something handy that will keep their interest is a win!

Is your venue kid-friendly?

If you are having kids in your wedding, are they going to be invited to the reception? This probably depends on if kids, in general, are invited to the reception. Your reception venue may not be the most kid-friendly atmosphere. If this is the case, just be sure to communicate well to the parents. If kids are coming to the reception, it’s fun to have a “kid table” with activities, coloring books, etc. Once the dancing starts, the music will keep most of them happy for a while.

Be prepared for the attention to be off of you.

Let’s face it! If you have kids in the ceremony, you can’t predict what they will do. They may be totally distracting, or just plain cute! Just be ready for people to be laughing at the flower girl eating her flowers or ring bearer picking his nose instead of intently listening to your vows. At our wedding, two of my nephews were elbowing each other down the aisle. During one of the songs, one of them started singing “Happy Birthday” and tried blowing out the candles. I loved it, but not everyone would agree.

Make sure someone is assigned to the child.

If you have kids in the wedding, it’s important to make sure one person is in charge of them at all times. Whether it’s for a potty break or just handling meltdowns, you want to make sure that nobody in the wedding party is having to step in.

Having kids in your wedding can absolutely be a great choice if you plan well and don’t stress about the little stuff.

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